i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
