i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
