I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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