You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
