That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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