My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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