My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
ok first of all what the fuck
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
