Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize