You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
