Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
