Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
