I wanna bring you to show and tell
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
