i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
