So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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