Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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