The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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