If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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