fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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