At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
