I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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