playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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