maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
