what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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