we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
