he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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