Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
