Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
