i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
