Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
