this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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