Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
