just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
