Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
