whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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