i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
