my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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