Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
