you guys were way drunker than both of me
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She's the barista slut.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
