i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
