i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
