U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dicks are not precious.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
