so explain again why im purple
no
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
