his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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