Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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