I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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