So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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