She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
