yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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