hotel room ftw
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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