when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
