I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
