And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
