I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
