my mouth tastes like poor choices
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
