I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
