i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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