I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
