she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
