I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
