They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize