You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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