It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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