We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize