morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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