yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize