in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
